Author Topic: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.  (Read 1054 times)

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Offline mr_lou

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Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« on: 14:59, 15 November 18 »
Hello my fellow CPC geeks,


Christmas is getting closer.

This time of year always gives my CPC-mood a boost. Every year when Christmas is approaching, my "CPC nostalgia meter" always rises a few notches. The CPC and Christmas has always gone together hand in hand for me. Partly because I used to spend the Christmas holidays back then in front of my CPC464, eagerly creating my own amateur BASIC stuff, and partly because Christmas (to me) is all about looking back and remembering our roots.

The CPC464 was my childhood sanctuary. It was the place I could go to to escape all the annoying things in the world - so I spent most my time in front of the CPC. Here I found all the things I was missing in the real world: Cosiness and peaceful relaxation, intriguing tasks to solve (as opposed to the tedious lame stuff we had to do at school), freedom of creation; create whatever I wanted, in my own pace and in my own way. Exactly as God intended.

And this is how I ended up associating the CPC with a very cosy peaceful relaxing atmosphere in which I could create my own intriguing challenges to solve in my own pace - and also enjoy watching the creations of other creative people - *my people*.

For many many years, the CPC kept its charm like this. Even decades later, playing the old games from back then would keep bringing that awesome atmosphere I remembered from childhood. I have a long list of games that each brings back certain memories of certain people I used to have in my life, and when I played them it was kinda like being in company with these people again.

But recently this effect has begun to wear off. The games I remember doesn't hold the same "power" anymore. They still remind me of certain people, but it's clear that the connection isn't as strong as it used to be. And I wonder why this has happened.

The old CPC-zone, and the CPCwiki also used to bring me a lot of joy. A whole community with other CPC fans, all sharing their enthusiasm with everyone else. Visiting these sites were definitely on my top 5 of favourite things to do.

But this interest has also been dropping recently. I'm not sure what it is, but it's clear that I don't feel part of the community to the same degree as I used to. I try to participate, but it's not really helping.

It's like I only just got to complete 8-bit Memoirs in time. My CPC-mood was extremely high while creating that project. "CPC nostalgia meter" through the roof! It was utterly awesome. But then now, it's like it has dropped lower than ever before. It's getting increasingly difficult to get enthusiastic about anything CPC related. Not even the recent release of all the CPCRetroDev games was particular interesting. And this is despite that Christmas is approaching!

I tend to blame general lack of time. Because I still get a lot of ideas for CPC projects. I just don't have the enthusiasm to do anything about them, and I think it's because I know I don't have the available time such projects require. And I guess that's how you slowly lose touch.

It's not that I'm depressed. I know well how it feels to be depressed, and that's not what this is. But it's clear that the CPC doesn't hold the same "power" anymore for some reason. Currently it feels like my project 8-bit Memoirs was the last "trip" for me.

Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? Is it just me? What's going on? Am I finally just growing up? Argh! I hope not!

Offline ComSoft6128

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #1 on: 15:14, 15 November 18 »
Maybe playing games that you are unfamiliar with of the same "vintage" as your favourite games might help?


Offline Bryce

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #2 on: 15:40, 15 November 18 »
Maybe you need to explore a different side of the CPC. One of the reasons it could be fading is that it has all become routine and there's very little learning involved? How about trying your hand at assembly, or building yourself some hardware? Something that challenges you again and gets you interested in finding out more?

Bryce.

Offline Gryzor

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #3 on: 15:46, 15 November 18 »
All loves and relationships go through their ups and downs. Perhaps it's one of those periods, simply and plainly. Who knows how our life works out after all, we only live through it once.


What I can say is, I've seen it happening to me too. Perhaps someone has noticed that there've been periods where I don't post much (or at all) here, and these are periods of great outside pressure. Inevitably my focus slips - if I work from 6am to 9 or 10pm all I can think of is my bed and how warm and nice it feels; the CPC just gathers dust. But I've found myself outside of a job as well and, oh boy, what times those are.


...and these days, ironically, I'm quite busy not with work, but with preparing our home to welcome a new member, and all this excitement has lifted my excitement for the CPC as well; I can't wait for the weekend to come so I can play all the new releases!


Don't pay much attention to it. No reason getting sad over it or trying to force it. Just enjoy what you enjoy :)

Offline Targhan

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #4 on: 15:54, 15 November 18 »
All I can tell is that after making Orion Prime, I didn't do CPC for one or two years. I didn't even attend to CPC Meetings. I felt I had reached my goal. Then, some other ideas came, naturally, and now I can't seem to have enough time to realize them.


My suggestion is, don't try too hard, simply do what you want to, do other stuff, and one day you may get some ideas you will want to realize on your good ol' CPC :). Or maybe not!!

Offline Bryce

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #5 on: 15:58, 15 November 18 »
Or try have some kids. Your Retro time will become so rare that you will cherish every moment of it.

Bryce.

Offline Gryzor

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #6 on: 16:15, 15 November 18 »
Or try have some kids. Your Retro time will become so rare that you will cherish every moment of it.



Oh, thanks for the encouragement.

Offline Bryce

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #7 on: 16:31, 15 November 18 »

Oh, thanks for the encouragement.

Guess what... I can see YOUR future :D

Bryce.

Offline Gryzor

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #8 on: 16:40, 15 November 18 »
ΑΑΑΑΑΑΑΑΑRGH NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THAT!


Ok, back on topic :)

Offline robcfg

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #9 on: 17:04, 15 November 18 »
I play Galactic Tomb with my son on my CPC  ;D


But to be fair, time for actually coding something is quite scarce.

Offline PaddyC13

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #10 on: 17:34, 15 November 18 »
For me, I got back in to the retro computing thing as my interest waned on newer technology.  I was fortunate to grow up through the 80s and experienced numerous different home computers.  I moved on to PCs with DOS, OS/2 and then Windows - programming as I went along.  I was even an IBM Mainframe developer in the 1990s.  Everything was new and exciting and I soaked up knowledge.


It all started to change for me with Windows 8 which I thought was a very poor release.  I actually like Windows 10 but the IT world seems to have morphed in to delivering another version of the same thing.  For example, how many iPhones does the world need?  Especially when each one is basically a bit thinner, lighter and wee bit more speedy.  Where is the innovation?


I have been watching MARS on Netflix of late and I think they summed it up well on there.  Previous generations dreamed big and put a man on the moon.  What have we done since in terms of space exploration?  Our dreams have become very limited.


Why am I saying this?  Well, for me retro computers hark back to the day when everything seemed possible...


Paddy



Offline asertus

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #11 on: 17:50, 15 November 18 »
Why am I saying this?  Well, for me retro computers hark back to the day when everything seemed possible...

Paddy


Actually, today's computing is total waste of memory and processor power. From dreaming of Mars with <1mhz chip to play Minecraft while waiting for an Uber... using 4096 CUDA processors...


https://en.wikichip.org/wiki/microprocessors_used_in_spacecrafts



Offline PaddyC13

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #12 on: 17:54, 15 November 18 »
Never in the field of computing has so much been used to deliver so little...  ;)


Paddy


Offline PaddyC13

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #13 on: 17:58, 15 November 18 »
I was watching a video on YouTube made by a chap who was intending to use an Apple IIGS as his daily machine in 2018.  What amazed me was how accomplished and usable the IIGS was.  The GUI looked great and worked well.  The applications (also GUI) were easy to use and responsive.


Paddy


Offline adolfo.pa

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #14 on: 20:27, 15 November 18 »
I would not worry too much about it @mr_lou , it happens to me all the time :-)


My interests work in a kind of cyclic way; I may be very interested in CPC stuff for a couple of months, then I slowly move towards Amiga, then other things ... to finally come back to the CPC again; rinse and repeat. I've learnt to accept this as a natural thing: my mind simply works this way.

The only thing I can say to you is, take it easy, enjoy other aspects of your life and don't worry too much about this. It is natural to get tired (or bored) of something after a while. Take all the time you need and you'll be back to shape (and full of energy) in a couple of months.
There's no point on doing CPC stuff if you don't truly enjoy it; this should be all fun  :)

Offline tjohnson

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #15 on: 00:34, 16 November 18 »

Agreed with adolfo.pa I personally find my enthusiasm for stuff goes up and down.  Sometimes I need to clear out everything to make a clean start.  I have found the same, that my memories for certain games gets softened with revisiting them, maybe its just the time since I played them in my youth and an element of rose tinting from younger more simple times.


Would you enthusiasm increase with more face to face Amstrad interaction with others from the community?  I wonder if that would help build your enthusiasm. 

Offline keith56

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #16 on: 01:22, 16 November 18 »
I've felt the same, and I think it's pretty much unavoidable, I mean the CPC hardware is 30 years old - it's only nonsense like HDR,4K and VR keeping people excited about PC gaming - so it's only natural to an extent.

I've been keeping my passion for retro going by diversifying into other 8 and 16 bit classic systems, learning about those, and whatnot... I still believe the CPC is one of the best 8 bit home computers, if not the best - I know the C64 and MSX people may disagree, but there you go!

if you want to 'rekindle' your CPC passion, I guess you need to start to look at something new - look at a game type you've never played, research a kind of software you've never used... or start writing a new program/game that hasn't been done before - or look into some weird hardware you've not tried before like the lightgun or pen, or hacking games with the multiface 2!
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Offline ervin

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #17 on: 02:33, 16 November 18 »
I also go through ups and downs regarding this sort of thing.
I usually do a few months of coding, and I think about the project all the time.
(Probably a bit too much, if you were to ask my wife!)  :laugh:

Eventually I will either complete the project (e.g. RUNCPC from 2015, or my line drawing code from 2016), or I will fail to complete the project (my failed entries for cpcretrodev from 2017 and this year), or I will simply burn out.

I will then not feel like coding for some time, but eventually the urge returns.
My irrational "need" to create something for a 34-year-old computer comes back, especially when an idea to try something ambitious pops in to my head. And then the cycle continues...
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Offline Dabz

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #18 on: 08:14, 16 November 18 »
This happens to most... I used to be a prolific prototype game programmer, it was a hobby, I'd tinker for ages, get so far into it, then start again on something else. Granted I managed to break that habit on occasions, go all the way on a project and get a game out there selling on various stores.


But then, after years, the collapse/stalling of my fave tools and libs, more notably Blitz languages, GLBasic... And the rise of having to install a million things for newer tools to use, just to build for one platform... I got bored, and I havent the time to invest to learn new tools like Unity... I sorta give up programming games, and instead, play golf, fly my drone... Do more outside things, I never touch programming for donkeys.


Though, after a while, I got the itch to start again on a project which is going very well, using B4A, which is a lovely language, its a golf thing, and because I'm playing golf again... Its coming along just fine, obviously because its a related interest! :)


Dabz
« Last Edit: 08:22, 16 November 18 by Dabz »

Offline AMSDOS

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #19 on: 12:30, 16 November 18 »
What happened to that Cement Factory game you were talking about, or ain't I allowed to ask?  ???
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* Have interpreted some BASIC 1.1 programs for BASIC 1.0. :)

Offline LambdaMikel

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #20 on: 08:06, 17 November 18 »
It is certainly going in phases, up and down... In my case, I relocated to the US 8 years ago. I had to leave everything behind in Germany (including CPCs), and was too busy "surviving" that I didn't even remember my Z80 op codes anymore!  :D Now that life has become more predictable again, I am enjoying the CPC again, and it is fun to see what I have missed in the last 20 years. Partly, because of hardware now being available that wasn't back then (ROM boards, ... , -> FutureOS etc.) - well, it was available, but not affordable 35 years ago - , and other cool extensions which we wouldn't have dreamed of 30 years ago (M4 board). I am slowly recreating my collection of CPC stuff, and even if it is not my original stuff, I am still getting a lot of excitement and enthusiasm out of it. Today, I just got my childhood printer back. So, my advice is - relocate to a different country, and rebuild your collection of retro computers  ;) No, but seriously - indeed, old memories wear off the more frequent you are "using them, referring to them". Just use them more rarely, and do something else for 5 years. Then come back, and you will enjoy it again and be as enthusiastic as 30 years ago around Xmas with your CPC  :) Maybe try to find a piece of hardware you wanted to own back then but couldn't afford, or a piece of hardware that you have lost and found again (like the printer in my case), and it should be fun again (I hope).

EDIT: Another thing I enjoy is the change in perspective over the years; and that also kind of keeps my enthusiasm and interest alive. There are always new things to learn about the CPC and related stuff. For example, I grew up with the 464 in 1986 believing that Schneider had engineered it. Later I learned that they only relabeled it (how lame!), and that Amstrad made it. Back then I really wanted the NLQ 401 Schneider printer, but it was too expensive. So one day I was extremely lucky and surprised when I found the Brother M1009 for sale, which was the same hardware, just different firmware than the NLQ 401. So I got that one for 100 DM or so; that must have been 1986 or 1987. Back then I thought that Schneider had relabeled the Brother, and that Brother was the original manufacturer. I was completely surprised when I found this "Centronics Great Little Printer (GLP 500)" on Ebay... I couldn't resist not buying it. Now that I have it up and running I am even more surprised that it offers an NLQ mode (selectable via a DIP switch!) I don't think that the Brother M1009 had NLQ... at least I wasn't smart enough to find the DIP switch back then if so  :D So, now I believe that Centronics was the original manufacturer of the NLQ 401, and not Brother. It's never too late to learn.  Maybe there will be even more revelations in these matters.
« Last Edit: 09:01, 17 November 18 by LambdaMikel »

Offline mr_lou

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #21 on: 11:25, 17 November 18 »
Thanks a lot for all your replies.

Lots of good suggestions here. The thing is, I think I've already done most of them.

I have been enjoying lots and lots of games that I didn't know from back in the day. Especially when I got my CPC Plus (with lots of hardware expansions) I enjoyed the many Plus games. I've been downloading lots and lots of games from CPC-power just to try them out. And it was great.

I have been exploring new sides of the CPC; developing two games with C, and made two musicdisks with help from the community. And though none of the 2 games qualifies as amazing games, they definitely fulfilled my curiosity in regards of creating a "machine code game". And it was great.

And I actually also do have a kid; my 7-year old daughter. And yes, having kids does indeed reduce your retrotime. (Not so great, but great having kids).  ;)

I know that our interests in the CPC comes in waves. But this is different. The "power" has always remained the same, despite the "interest waves". This time it's the "power" that is fading. Difficult to explain...

What happened to that Cement Factory game you were talking about, or ain't I allowed to ask?

I still get many new ideas. I may share some of them on the forum. Then lose interest again when no one seems to be intrigued by it. Right now I only vaguely remember talking about that Cement Factory game.
Then comes all the ideas I don't share. I've thought about doing a diskmag engine purely in BASIC for example. I've also thought of at least 4 different BASIC games - and even started 3 of them now that I think about it. Wanted to explore BASIC more.

The waves of interest is different. When the interest is low I don't even get ideas - there's no interest. Then when interest returns, I get ideas and I'm productive. Creates musicdisks and games.
This here now is not the wave of interest. The interest is still there, weirdly. It's the enthusiasm that's fading. The way I can tell is that I still get ideas. Ideas for articles for the CPCFanzine, BASIC programs, music, techniques, tools. Lots of ideas. But absolutely no desire to do anything about them.... or well... obviously I must have a desire, otherwise I probably wouldn't get the ideas. But something is missing. The part that is required to be intrigued and get creative is missing. Whatever it's called. It actually looks like depression, except I don't feel depressed. I'm actually in a good place in my life right now. It's weird.

I suppose I could just try taking a break from all things CPC for a while. Doesn't look like I have much of a choice anyway.

Thanks all!

Offline Targhan

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #22 on: 13:33, 17 November 18 »
If you simply don't WANT to get involved in a project, then don't :). Take a break, and maybe you'll come back later. And if you don't, well so be it :).

Offline mr_lou

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #23 on: 13:48, 17 November 18 »
If you simply don't WANT to get involved in a project, then don't :) . Take a break, and maybe you'll come back later. And if you don't, well so be it :) .

I want to want to.  :)
But the lack of enthusiasm stands in the way.

I think part of the root cause is knowing that I don't have enough time available. (Seriously, I still wonder how the hell everyone else here manages to find the time for all their CPC projects. Seems other creators also have kids and jobs and whatnot - so how??).

Offline ervin

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Re: Help! Losing the enthusiasm.
« Reply #24 on: 14:06, 17 November 18 »
I want to want to.  :)
But the lack of enthusiasm stands in the way.

I think part of the root cause is knowing that I don't have enough time available. (Seriously, I still wonder how the hell everyone else here manages to find the time for all their CPC projects. Seems other creators also have kids and jobs and whatnot - so how??).

To find time, I find that something else has to be sacrificed... and that thing is SLEEP!
 :laugh:
My (cancelled) entry for the CPCRetroDev 2017 Competition http://www.cpcwiki.eu/forum/programming/my-cpcretrodev-2017-entry/
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