I've put your text in a google document here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VS1Q5TymS36JLf42WNkapHJs57T81C4IciwGeM9SryM/edit?usp=sharingI've put my own take below yours. I've changed a few things:
- the names were corrected to match the book
- the typos I saw
- my take on a few sentences
- I contracted I AM to I'M, IT IS to IT'S, but not I HAVE, I WILL... I'm not sure how much I can contract, the rules and formality of it all.
- I moved the apostrophes to the end of the sentences, as per the original Spanish. The shorter sentences are supposed to appear frequently, so the useful information scrolls first.
- I changed a few MUST to HAVE TO. But not all of them. Some of the context is unclear to me.
Things I'd like to change, but I want you guys' opinions:
- I'm tempted to correct WARN to ALERT. It depends on the context of the scene.
- "The library is a secret place". I'm not sure "secret" is right here. I'm leaning more towards "private", "personal", "confidential". Context is needed. ok
- "Dios Santos" "Good God" Holy God"... What would be a good, holy interjection?
- There are a few phrases I'm not a fan of, but I can't think of anything better.
I've counted words and characters, and everything should fit nicely within the original code with space to spare.
[EDIT] The line about the Coena Cypriani is bothering me. The characters are talking about two subversive books in Eco's: the Coena Cypriani which has no known author but is widely available, and Poetics, Book II by Aristotle, a lost writing. The authors of the game have conflated both to have the hidden Coena Cypriani by Aristotle. I don't know if it's a mistake or on purpose, but I feel the simplification was unneeded. I restored the line to have the proper book incriminated, but I'll be happy to hear arguments of the other side.