Surprise Surprise

Copyright : Central Solutions | Reviewed by : Ritchardo

You?ve been invited to banquet in a huge mansion and being a sociable little chap you feel duty obliged to attend. The only problem is that you need to a code to get in and it?s been split up and distributed about the 100 room mansion. Better start hunting.

NOTE: Surprise Surprise only works on the 464.

Graphics

This game will take you a while to complete. Not because it?s difficult necessarily, but it just moves so slowly that you might think your computer is malfunctioning. It?s not? although you?ll wish it was?

Your character?s animation is primitive as well which has you shuffling along jerking one foot out in front of the other at a speed slightly slower than the time it takes water to freeze? A slight exaggeration perhaps but completely justified when you looking at this.

The drawings are poor and completely unoriginal - the whole enterprise looks like a long type-in rather than a commercial game.

A special mention too for the migraine inducing, epileptically dangerous loading screen. A seemingly random mess of lines and flashing colours scream across the screen for what seems like forever. Who would?ve thought that you?d soon be fondly reminiscing for the chance to see this screen again rather than continuing playing?

On the bright side, there?s plenty of colour and er? that?s it.

Sound

I wish they hadn?t. If they?d had no sound then it would?ve been no great surprise or loss. Instead they included the worst title music I?ve ever endured and followed up with random beeps and extended tones that play away to themselves bearing little or no relation to the game. The sound effects are really, really irritating and if you?ve the misfortune of having your sound up high then you?ll be near deafened by the hideous noises that are soon emanating for your computer. Turn it down or turn it off, either way you wont be missing much.

Gameplay

Let?s cut to the chase - this baby is getting a big fat zero. I don?t care what petty prejudice you may have against particular game and up until this piece of trash loaded up on my emulator I was safe in the knowledge that I knew what the worst game ever unleashed on the Amstrad and sold for profit. I?ve had to reassess my opinion?

This game (and I use that term as loosely as I can) is without a shadow of a doubt the worst game that I have ever played in my life. To call the controls sluggish would be a compliment, to give the opinion that the game is boring would be charity and to even pretend that I was able to play this for more than ten minutes would be a blatant lie.

Collision detection is abysmal and the whole game moves so slowly that it is completely unplayable. You?ll die regularly and as if this isn?t enough of a deterrent - you only get one life? Superb.

When you reach hell you?ll find that Satan will make you sit through repeated playing sessions of this (with occasional goes at Count Duckula 2 to provide some kind of variety - heaven knows the game doesn?t?) before doing what ever other unspeakable things he has in store for you.

I?m almost tempted to give it marks for the sheer bloody cheek of releasing this in the first place but that would give the wrong impression that there?s something, however slight, about this. There?s not. I cannot stress this enough: bury it in a hole in your back garden, pour petrol over it and make it burn because if ever there was an argument AGAINST preserving games then this is it.